Tuesday, 27 January 2015

The Return of Anonymous

Here I am again... curled up on my ginormous leather sofa at home with a plate of marmalade on toast in front of me. I always put the toast back down in the toaster after they first spring back up... just for a few seconds so that it becomes perfect. Do you ever do that?
I'm sipping on a chai tea and decided that today, on this dreary Wednesday spent in my snow white onesie and my hair looking like Hermione Granger's (on a bad day...) that I'd venture back onto this blog. 
See, I haven't felt the need to blog about anything over the past couple of months because for the most part I have been entirely blissed out in this relationship with Scotty.

For those of you who don't know how my blog works, I'll explain it again. T
It is anonymous. This means that there obviously can't be any photographs of the actual people (or me...) on it. Instead, I take a look at the people I blog about and decide which celebrity they most look like. 
My boyfriend, Scotty, is a Ryan Gosling lookalike... or so I like to think. 

Say hi to Scotty everyone!

Things were so great between us - notice how that was in past tense??? 
We're still together - but, as always, a couple of months in, I start to freak out. I must have commitment issues or something. It happens every single time! A few months in and suddenly the blissed out, happy girl I usually am gets replaced by this confused, demented wreck. 
I start noticing the tiniest little thing he does and it drives me up the wall. No one is perfect - but my irritation levels just continue to rise until I literally just cannot stand him anymore... but I stick it out until a big fight erupts and that's my exit strategy. Run away.
That fight hasn't happened yet though - and all of my friends keep on telling what a gem Scotty is... and they're right! He is! The guy would do literally anything to make me happy and he does treat me like gold. If I even try to explain to you the things that annoy me about him or about any of the other guys I've entered into exclusive relationships with, you'd probably laugh at me!
It's like sometimes he does something and I just feel like it's a little bit thick.
Like, what was he thinking when he decided to smack his penis that hard when we were making love and it didn't work??? Granted we'd both had far too much wine and so that made his male bits a bit useless... it happens. But hitting it afterwards so hard that he buckles over in agony?! I guess most girlfriends would find that pretty funny. But not me. 
Perhaps I'm just a heartless, judgmental bitch??
What is wrong with me??? Why can't I ever just be happy and let love in properly??? Are these all symptoms of someone with serious commitment issues? 

Here is where the next issue comes swooping in to make matters worse:

There's a guy. 

A man so gorgeous that is is practically earth-shattering. I kid you not. You take one look at this guy and you get tongue-tied and your jaw just drops open. 
He's a doctor too... and I'm sorry but it should seriously be illegal for a doctor to look like that!!!! 
Dr. Shepherd and Mark Sloan have NOTHING on this guy... I actually can't even think of a celebrity that looks like him because no one would be quite as beautiful. 
He's got this chestnut colored, short hair that he gels up into neat spikes... and crystal clear blue eyes that have the power to stop your heart if they stare at you. 
His lips are full and pink and perfect. His teeth look like they could be in a bloody colgate ad... and his body..... oh my GOD his body.... drool.
He even has a neatly kept beard going on. He is the DEFINITION of what I find attractive in a man. 
I mean, the closest look alike I can think of is Zac Efron.. but honestly, I kind of think of Zac Efron as a little boy.... although I probably wouldn't if he was in my living room right now!! Haha

So... just for the point of this blog... 
Meet Alex:

Anyway... so this guy has just ended a relationship with this bleached blond, sun-bed scorched, anorexic chick with a lollipop head.
So, 'caring me' emailed him to ask how he was holding up. We started chatting a little bit and then decided to meet up for drinks with a whole crowd of people. We've met up about twice now - once with a crowd and once just the two of us where we enjoyed a glass of wine and chatted for ages non stop. It turns out that we have LOADS in common! 

To be honest though, I didn't really pick up any flirty vibes or crazy chemistry... although I wish I had!! 

If anorexic beauticians is what he's into though then I don't stand a chance anyway... but a girl can dream. 

Last night I saw him without his shirt on for the first time.... holy shit

It was in the gym after work and he was all sweater and shirtless..... doing these pull ups that could make a girl cry. It was as if angels were singing. 
He barely looked at me though, in my baggy vest and white yoga pants. I was doing these high knee kicks when he finally did look at me and my bun was flaying around idiotically and my white yoga pants were slipping down my ass. Fantastic. I must have looked CHARMING. 
Although, after the gym session I got home and saw that he'd logged onto Facebook and 'liked' my latest profile picture?! 
God knows....

I don't know if he likes me or not. He doesn't really make an effort to get a conversation flowing over text messages in the evenings but maybe he just isn't a phone person - because when we were out having a glass of red wine last week we were laughing and chatting away like mad. 
When it came to hugging goodbye it was a little awkward but we gave each other a little hug and pat on the back...... urgh. I'm such a wreck right now.

I do feel sorry for Scotty... he doesn't deserve this:

I mean of course I still have strong feelings for him and a part of me does hope that it works out and that things get better. When I started dating him (which I was SO happy about!) I went onto the pill again for the first time in years and it has been seriously mucking around with my hormones ever since. They're mental!!!
I'm moody and snappy... this pill isn't good for me at all.. even though it does prevent the premature arrival of a mini-me! 
I want to go off of the pill... it's something I am considering because I was so confident and great before I started taking it. 

Does anyone else ever feel that the pill has this effect on them??
Has anyone else ever suffered with commitment issues? Is that was this is??? 

Please help. 
Do I stick it out with Scotty and just hope that this is just a bump in the road? 
Do I forget about anything ever happening with Alex, because lets face it... he is a God and I am like... not..... 

This is what blogging is all about, right? For us to all help each other, learn, grow, advise and share. 
I'm still new to the blog world but that's what I hope it's like, anyway...

I'll see you all soon, then. 


  1. Mystery blogger... first thank you so much for your sweet comment on my blog, I really appreciate that... I write from my heart and I write so that I don't hold it all in, for that would not be good for me.

    I don't know what to tell you about what you should do here, I am not the best at giving advice since it has been a very long time since I dated.. not seriously since 'him' the one who broke my heart, the one I am still recovering from...

    I hope to find love and not perfect love but love that will make me feel passion, we all deserve that. Good luck with your decision, thank you for dropping by my blog and commenting xox

  2. i have done this (with the toasts) many time to make it more crunchier...we are so alike
    keep in touch

    1. Hey Kriti! Yay! I love that you love marmalade on toast! It's not often that I come across people that do these days - women seem to be petrified of bread..... sillies.

  3. I don't know what I have to say, because only you know what you feel.
    But I think if you love any of them you won't have any doubts what you have to do.

  4. Ugh feel ya sister, it's completely natural to be in a long term relationship and get distracted by gorgeous available men.. It's the whole grass is always greener thing! I'd suggest going to your doctors about your pill, it took me three different ones to find one that didn't send me crazy :)

    India / Touchscreens & Beautyqueens

    1. So it's normal!? Does that mean I stick it out with Scotty and forget about said gorgeous available man?? I guess they will always come and go right? Like testing your commitment kind of?? Life is cruel!! Cruel I say!

  5. Girl! Where the hell have you been, I thought I lost you for good..thanks so much for coming by and commenting on my blog! Glad you are back! I think that if you aren't really feeling Scotty anymore there is no sense in leading him on if he's as good as guy as you say. Move on instead of sticking around silently miserable. If the doctor isn't giving you the correct vibes, let that go too! Way too many sexy fish in the sea girl!


    1. Hello you!! I know I have been SO slack.... but I feel like I am back. To be honest, there was just no juicy details over the past few months. Well, that's a lie.. there are always juicy details... I was just so busy enjoying them that I didn't have time to write. But after all these lovely comments and a few new follows (getting there slowly!) I am definitely planning on making this more regular! Hence the new post today :)

  6. Hello Mystery girl!!!! Howdy!!! Welllll girllll, I loveee your hilarious sense of writing...it was like reading a novel, i swear!! Hahaha! Ok, jokes apart, hmmm...what should you do...well, leave Scotty! :) You know what Johnny Depp says, if you love the 2nd person, then set the 1st person free because you never really loved him, you know? And babe, i feel you! Just like you, I have commitment issues. But when the right man comes along, all of them will just vanish instantly!! TRUST ME!!! It happened with me, and a girl who couldnt even keep a rship for 2 mths is now planning to get hitched with him!! So babe...Scotty (Ryan Gosling) deserves much better (I am not saying you're not good, you're amazing!). Hope this helped! :)


    1. You really think so Anshul!? That's so nice to hear - who knows, maybe one day I will make this into a crazy novel. I wonder if anyone would actually read it?! I must say I am feeling so pumped at all of the nice comments I have been receiving - like people are really reading the stories!! That's so flattering and nice!!

      :) x

  7. Hi mystery blogger.

    Scotty doesn't know scotty doesn't knowwwww. Your blog post reminds me of that song from Eurotrip. I feel a bit bad for Scotty. And his penis. I was in a relationship where he bugged me and I ended it. I don't really know if you should end it or not, I guess only you can answer that!

    Corinne x

    1. Lord - you had me in fits of laughter this morning when I logged on and read this!!! Too funny Corinne! Thank you for that! Always fantastic to find the funny in these sort of crazy situations!

  8. Zac Efron!!!!!! Probably the hottest post I saw today. LOL

    1. He's beautiful... more and more like Zac every time I look (stare open-mouthed) at him.... hehe :)

  9. i'd maybe talk with scotty first, before deciding to act in any way:-) good luck no matter which way the situation turns out to go! x

    1. I try to talk to Scotty - and ask him things like are you truly happy etc... but he just wangles his way into my affections every time!! He's so sneaky!!!

  10. Hmmm I have heard tales about the Pill causing havoc on us, hormones, pimples, weight gain you name it sister. Have you considered going back to the doctor and asking to change brands? Or whatever it's called? I know there are specific names and brands of the Pill that work on different things, like some that help you lose weight and stuff. Might be something to look into, especially if it's making you bananas. Regarding the dudes, well I don't envy you one bit. I have found myself in a similar situation, I was dating this one guy (who turned out to be a massive c*** in the end) for ages and I started a new job and befriended this really cool guy. He was like, the sexiest guy ever, and we would shamelessly flirt and stuff. It never went further than harmless flirting but years on and I wish it had, especially after wasting so much time on someone who treated me like crap. If your current boyfriend was a cheating sleaze bag then girl I would say go for it. But in your case I say wait it out, even though you're playing a dangerous game here (and I think you know it!) try a different Pill and see if that has any effect on your emotions. It all sounds like early days yet between you and the bf and as you said if your prone to self-destructing and destroying relationships then could it be Dr Dreamy is just an easy way out? I don't know, I've probably read waaaay too much into this but I hope you can figure it out darling. Good luck and keep us posted.


    1. Ok, wow that was long. Apologies!

    2. I officially love you.

      Thank you for this comment - it made my day!!

      Sorry to hear about your story babe, maybe you'll bump into that nice looking chap again one day.. like in this movies... what was it.. Along Came Polly... and they just bump into each other in the street after all that time :)
      Life is all about positiveness x

  11. Oh the other guy and the thrill of optionality... isn't that the way it goes? Here I am hoping for just one cutie to cross my path and not be a jerk or a creep about it. Keep us posted on what happens, will ya?

    1. I'm sure one will - hopefully not two! That seems to be a problem ;)
      Of course I will keep you dated!! xxx

  12. Wow. This blog kinda reminds me of this TV show I've watched called Awkward. She blogs too and even the name is kind of similar. Anyway, just forget about Alex and stick to fixing things with Scotty, okay? We all know it's the right thing to do, so maybe you should just do it.

    The Life of Little Me