The Return of Anonymous

Here I am again... curled up on my ginormous leather sofa at home with a plate of marmalade on toast in front of me. I always put the toast back down in the toaster after they first spring back up... just for a few seconds so that it becomes perfect. Do you ever do that?

I'm sipping on a chai tea and decided that today, on this dreary Wednesday spent in my snow white onesie and my hair looking like Hermione Granger's (on a bad day...) that I'd venture back onto this blog. 

See, I haven't felt the need to blog about anything over the past couple of months because for the most part I have been entirely blissed out in this relationship with Scotty.

For those of you who don't know how my blog works, I'll explain it again. T

It is anonymous. This means that there obviously can't be any photographs of the actual people (or me...) on it. Instead, I take a look at the people I blog about and decide which celebrity they most look like. 

My boyfriend, Scotty, is a Ryan Gosling lookalike... or so I like to think. 

Say hi to Scotty everyone!

Things were so great between us - notice how that was in past tense??? 

We're still together - but, as always, a couple of months in, I start to freak out. I must have commitment issues or something. It happens every single time! A few months in and suddenly the blissed out, happy girl I usually am gets replaced by this confused, demented wreck. 

I start noticing the tiniest little thing he does and it drives me up the wall. No one is perfect - but my irritation levels just continue to rise until I literally just cannot stand him anymore... but I stick it out until a big fight erupts and that's my exit strategy. Run away.

That fight hasn't happened yet though - and all of my friends keep on telling what a gem Scotty is... and they're right! He is! The guy would do literally anything to make me happy and he does treat me like gold. If I even try to explain to you the things that annoy me about him or about any of the other guys I've entered into exclusive relationships with, you'd probably laugh at me!

It's like sometimes he does something and I just feel like it's a little bit thick.

Like, what was he thinking when he decided to smack his penis that hard when we were making love and it didn't work??? Granted we'd both had far too much wine and so that made his male bits a bit useless... it happens. But hitting it afterwards so hard that he buckles over in agony?! I guess most girlfriends would find that pretty funny. But not me. 

Perhaps I'm just a heartless, judgmental bitch??

What is wrong with me??? Why can't I ever just be happy and let love in properly??? Are these all symptoms of someone with serious commitment issues? 

Here is where the next issue comes swooping in to make matters worse:

There's a guy. 

A man so gorgeous that is is practically earth-shattering. I kid you not. You take one look at this guy and you get tongue-tied and your jaw just drops open. 

He's a doctor too... and I'm sorry but it should seriously be illegal for a doctor to look like that!!!! 

Dr. Shepherd and Mark Sloan have NOTHING on this guy... I actually can't even think of a celebrity that looks like him because no one would be quite as beautiful. 

He's got this chestnut colored, short hair that he gels up into neat spikes... and crystal clear blue eyes that have the power to stop your heart if they stare at you. 

His lips are full and pink and perfect. His teeth look like they could be in a bloody colgate ad... and his body..... oh my GOD his body.... drool.

He even has a neatly kept beard going on. He is the DEFINITION of what I find attractive in a man. 

I mean, the closest look alike I can think of is Zac Efron.. but honestly, I kind of think of Zac Efron as a little boy.... although I probably wouldn't if he was in my living room right now!! Haha

So... just for the point of this blog... 

Meet Alex:

Anyway... so this guy has just ended a relationship with this bleached blond, sun-bed scorched, anorexic chick with a lollipop head.

So, 'caring me' emailed him to ask how he was holding up. We started chatting a little bit and then decided to meet up for drinks with a whole crowd of people. We've met up about twice now - once with a crowd and once just the two of us where we enjoyed a glass of wine and chatted for ages non stop. It turns out that we have LOADS in common! 

To be honest though, I didn't really pick up any flirty vibes or crazy chemistry... although I wish I had!! 

If anorexic beauticians is what he's into though then I don't stand a chance anyway... but a girl can dream. 

Last night I saw him without his shirt on for the first time.... holy shit. 

It was in the gym after work and he was all sweater and shirtless..... doing these pull ups that could make a girl cry. It was as if angels were singing. 

He barely looked at me though, in my baggy vest and white yoga pants. I was doing these high knee kicks when he finally did look at me and my bun was flaying around idiotically and my white yoga pants were slipping down my ass. Fantastic. I must have looked CHARMING. 

Although, after the gym session I got home and saw that he'd logged onto Facebook and 'liked' my latest profile picture?! 

God knows....

I don't know if he likes me or not. He doesn't really make an effort to get a conversation flowing over text messages in the evenings but maybe he just isn't a phone person - because when we were out having a glass of red wine last week we were laughing and chatting away like mad. 

When it came to hugging goodbye it was a little awkward but we gave each other a little hug and pat on the back...... urgh. I'm such a wreck right now.

I do feel sorry for Scotty... he doesn't deserve this:

I mean of course I still have strong feelings for him and a part of me does hope that it works out and that things get better. When I started dating him (which I was SO happy about!) I went onto the pill again for the first time in years and it has been seriously mucking around with my hormones ever since. They're mental!!!

I'm moody and snappy... this pill isn't good for me at all.. even though it does prevent the premature arrival of a mini-me! 

I want to go off of the pill... it's something I am considering because I was so confident and great before I started taking it. 

Does anyone else ever feel that the pill has this effect on them??

Has anyone else ever suffered with commitment issues? Is that was this is??? 

Please help. 

Do I stick it out with Scotty and just hope that this is just a bump in the road? 

Do I forget about anything ever happening with Alex, because lets face it... he is a God and I am like... not..... 

This is what blogging is all about, right? For us to all help each other, learn, grow, advise and share. 

I'm still new to the blog world but that's what I hope it's like, anyway...

I'll see you all soon, then. 

x