Scotty...

Breakups are strange things - you get to know someone so well. You send them messages every morning and wish them sweet dreams in the evening. You ask each other how your day has been... then BOOM. Suddenly it's over and you no longer speak. It's like a flick was switched. 

It's been a week since Jared and I have spoken and honestly, it's a lot easier than I would have thought it would be. Looking back at it now, I'm glad things didn't get serious between us because he's really actually not my type. Not at all! I don't even know what the hell I was thinking. 

As for Scott... well, I saw him on Tuesday evening for sushi and movies - once again, the guy blew me away. 

We got a bottle of Shiraz and a bottle of Pinotage, rented Divergent and Filth, got take-out sushi and then ching chong cha'd for which movie to watch first. He won, so Divergent it was.

After the first film we took a break and actually played Tekken 6 on his playstation which was so much fun. I've never played playstation (it's probably not called that anymore is it? X-box???) with a guy besides my brother before and found myself having the best time. 

We attempted to watch Filth but it was such a weirdo movie we switched it off a quarter of the way through. 

As Scott is a black belt in all sorts of martial arts (so hot....), he then taught me some self-defence moves - it was a combination of hilarious, steamy and really helpful! 

That's when he really blew me away by hauling out his guitar (did I mention HOT!?).

I didn't even know the guy could play.... OR sing!! He's literally better than Jack Johnson and Ben Harper combined. Drool. 

He sang me a few songs and somehow amidst it all, we lost track of time and it was suddenly 2am. 

With that in mind we decided it was time for bed. He lives in a different town to me so I couldn't drive that late, especially after two bottles of wine. 

He's so cozy and snuggly - I actually can't get over it. You know how sometimes you cuddle with someone yet no matter what you do you just can't get comfortable together. Suddenly it feels like you've got one too many limbs or something and you just can't find that perfect spot to settle into? Well, we do not have that problem. 

It's pretty lame to admit this but it feels like he's my missing puzzle piece (yes I just quoted freaking Katy Perry...). 

Oh right - and because this is supposed to be a shameless, saucy, men-induced love story blog... I will with this - the sex is out of this world!!!! 

Before you think differently of me - we have known each other for some time and I've slept over in the past but we have taken things very slowly up until this point. 

In between kissing and ripping the clothes off of each others backs on Tuesday night I asked him that dreaded, awkward question - Do You Have A Condom?? (keep it clean ladies...)

He didn't.

He said he'd try to be very careful but here's the thing... I do not do the full monty without a condom. You never know... you know?

So what are you to do at 2am when you're all fired up with this guy you share a crazy amount of passion with???? 

Well, go on a drive to the garage and fetch a box of condoms! That's what. Hahahaha we felt SO incredibly naughty - and it wasn't just a little drive either. 

I found it truly hilarious.

He spoke to Margaret, his ex girlfriend during this past week and told me that he had ended things with her.
"I am yours if you want me," he said.
I was so unbelievably happy and jittery, which is horrible to admit because his ex must be heartbroken and I truly never wanted to hurt anyone... but I feel like if I allow myself, I could fall head over heels for this guy.
He isn't perfect. No one is - but he's pretty damn close to perfect FOR me.

I am seeing him again tomorrow for a date - the excitement is actually just too much to comprehend.

We Are Never Never Ever.. Getting Back Together

As you are all getting to know these male characters in my life, I thought it was time to give them all a face. Not their real faces, but rather faces of actors or musicians that I think share similar features with them. So when you see gorgeous, chiseled God's below that we are all familiar with, please do not think I am actually dating them! I just thought this would be a fun way of sprucing up this growing blog.

Things with Jared: 

(featuring as Matt Damon) are officially over.

(side note: thank you to so many of you for helping me see his devious ways.)

I eventually worked up the courage to ask him the hell was going on because I was starting to feel like his convenient play thing. He said that he cannot commit to a serious relationship - at least he's honest. I respect that, yet there's no denying that it still hurt! Especially when my friend Tazzy texted me on Friday night (I was out home devouring a tub of Ben and Jerry's and a bottle of wine with my mother,) and told me that Jared was out at a club and attempting to hook up with every girl in sight! Ouch. 

What makes it all more confusing is that he tells me he really enjoys my company and that he'd love it if we could still spend time together - thank God I'm not a dumb blonde (apologies to any offence taken here.. I mean it as a figure of speech...), and I know exactly what he wants - and he's not getting it!!! 

I guess we could be friends, I mean we did get along really well, we just didn't work as more. I told him that of course we could still be friends but that he just needs to give me time. I did think him and I had a shot after all so I am disappointed (but not devastated).

That being said, I have an undeniable amount of more fun with Scott (featuring as Ryan Gosling...)

That night on the beach with him recently was so refreshing and amazing. He's lovely. 

I know that loads of you warned me against him too in my previous post but I can't explain it.

From the get-go I was wary of Jared... but with Sam I'm filled with this surprising trust. I mean, at least he told me that he had taken his ex-girlfriend back. He didn't have to tell me that. He could have lied and I'd never have known... and he DID say that he would leave her. 

They were having problems before I entered the picture too so it isn't like I'm the one to blame. For those of you who are visiting my newborn blog for the first time, then know that when I met Scott back in June he'd just come out of a relationship. We went on a wonderful date, racing each other to the restaurant (I nearly beat him!), had sushi and engaged in REAL conversation - there was no strained small talk. 

We just clicked.

When I had to go to the bathroom I got up and realised that it was a tint unisex loo. While washing my hands he came in and as I turned around he just picked me up so that my legs were wrapped around his waist and he kissed me. 

Literally what happened.... 

Then he put me down after about the longest five seconds of my life and whispered, "I'll see you back outside." 

Phwoar........

Now how is that for a first kiss!? 

It hasn't stopped being that spontaneous and fun ever since. Every time we see each other is better than the last and in fact, I might be seeing him tonight!!

I'll keep you posted on my crazy love life but right now, I need to go and fix this awful home job attempt I just did of ombre-ing my hair. 

Lets just say I've turned orange.......

Anyway guys let me know what you think about my blog. This is only my third post and if you haven't noticed yet - it's a bit of a different style of blogging. No beauty reviews or fashion post - I am anonymous after all! This blog is all a crazy soap opera of my love life... which I've been told in the past is really interesting so I though why not put it into writing and share it with the world. Maybe you relate, maybe you live vicariously through me... whatever you want. 

Let me know what you think! 

I'd love to know your thoughts. 

Single Girl Problems

Last night was magical. 

I've decided not to wait around and be Jared's play thing so instead, I caught up with Scott, this martial arts, surfing, freaking HOT blonde fellow that I went on a date or two with in the past. 

I really thought that it was just going to be a friendly thing, especially when he confessed to having taken his ex-girlfriend back when we were sitting around a crackling bonfire on the beach last night. 

I decided not to let it bother me because it wasn't planned as a 'date,' anyway, it was just two friends catching up! But, as the night wore on, we realised that we were really gelling. Like, really, REALLY gelling. 

He told me that the reason he took his ex back is because I moved on after our dates a few months back. 

See, when we went on a date or two in the past, it was incredible. It was always so spontaneous and fun but he was still getting over his breakup and I didn't want to push things so I gave him space until we eventually just pretty much lost touch!

He kissed me last night. 

He was saying things along the lines of leaving his girlfriend (I can't remember it all as i was pretty drunk... oops). He said he wasn't happy with her and that he liked me. 

We were rolling around in the sand (I literally had buckets of sand in my hair and my ears this morning... Awesome!). We were kissing and tackling, laughing and playing on the beach. It was amazing and felt just as natural as the last time I saw him.  

It's now nearly been 24 hours and we haven't spoken since we said goodbye. 

i don't know if he regrets it or if maybe he's trying to find a way to break up with his girlfriend before contacting me again... I just don't know. 

Of course I feel bad for her. I don't want to be a home-wrecker. But Scott's amazing and when we're together it's just so refreshing and happy! 

So I'll see how that one plays out...

In other news, things with Jared are.. for lack of a better word... shit. 

One of the main reasons I branched out to Scott last night is because Jared has been so weird about being exclusive with me. That's all I want at the end of the day. To be a girlfriend. To fall in love. 

I don't want to be juggling men!!!

But Jared wants to take things slowly and then he goes off on weekends away and I have no idea if we're monogamous or not! It's confusing. So I asked him to give it to me straight so that I understand better and he admitted to being distant lately. He said that the fact that his friend, Craig, used to like me, bugs him and he's worried about it. I get that. Of course I do. He said that he's also worried about getting too attached. He's 34, a lot older than me... so I guess I understand that too.. he's at an age where if he dates someone he needs to be able to see a future with them I guess??? 

I told him that I respect his friendship with Craig and I'd never want to jeopardise it, but that he needs to respect me too. The balls in his court and I don't want to be strung along or taken for a fool... especially since I've been warned on what a man whore he is!!!

Jared said that he really does like me but I can't help but get this feeling that he's taking this as a big joke.

My mother (yes, I confided in her. Oh dear God, that's my first problem right there!!) said that I should just 'have fun.'

Technically I'm still single, she said, and told me to have fun and take my time. 

So whether it be Scott, Jared or freaking Seth (still ew...) only time will tell. 

Single girl problems...... ai ai ai....

Who Am I

Today is the start of a new month. I didn't even know that until I logged onto Facebook this morning and saw my news-feed flooded with 'Happy September!' status'.

I've decided to start a fresh journal today to commemorate the first of the month. 

An online one. 

One without dates and limitations of just one page per entry like your usual yearly diary has. 

It's just so much pressure to write every day, especially when some days there's really not anything to say. It's disenchanting to see a bunch of blank pages between dates. 

So here's to a fresh, new start!

Today was good, I guess. 

See, I've started seeing this guy called Jared... but I've been warned that he's a bit of a player. Okay, not exactly just 'a bit.' Someone literally called him 'The Terminator.' It makes me nervous... but I'm one to talk though. I mean he went away this past weekend so I went out on the town and ended up hooking up with a friend of mine, Seth. 

It just sort of happened! 

One minute we were all on the dance floor and the next his face was right next to mine and he had his slithery tongue down my throat! Urgh. I then spent the rest of the night wallowing in self-pity. Especially when he whispered in my ear, "Do you want to have sex? I'll put a condom on!" (to which I just laughed at and called it a night... thank GOD). 

At the same time though I feel silly for feeling guilty about the whole thing. 

Jared said he wants to ask me to be his girlfriend but not yet; he said he needs to take things slow. What's that supposed to even mean? It's already been about a month. So technically I'm still single. Joy. 

And for all I know he was doing much worse than what I was this past weekend while he was gallivanting around in another town. 

Jared and I started out really nicely but now I'm just not sure. There doesn't seem to be that sexual 'spark.' Maybe it's because I'm overthinking it... I am just so ready to be involved and share my heart with someone.

I guess I just need to find that someone. 

PS: 

Who am I? 

Well... 

I'm still trying to figure that one out for myself.